Saturday, March 3, 2012

Only You

Take my heart, I lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I'm letting go
I lift it up to you who's throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I'm leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

And It's just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

You should see the view
When it's only You

Encouraged that I Struggle:
I have just been really been in a little hard place lately.  Maybe more of a slacker mode spiritually.  I am excited about God, but do not want to put forth the effort into living for him.  My housework really is evident of my lack of care or energies towards others.  Just really struggling with laying down my life for my family.  I take care of my family, but the other daily tasks like folding clothes, washing dishes, putting them away, etc really chip away at me.  I was really selfish and lazy today--watched tv and browsed online all day.  I felt quite tired of trying.  But alas, Tonight almost midnight, I am encouraged.  

Encouraged through Conviction
God's been just speaking to me to just lay down my life.  Not just the things that I want to surrender, but everything--even the parts that I desire to hold onto and not let go.  I'm encouraged that He is still convicting me.  I am convicted of my sin and yes it is encouraging to hear his voice and his call to me to repent. 

Encouraged through my Husband
  Tonight my husband and I talked about some Biblical things and where we are at right now in our lives in respect to our church fellowship.  It is always so good when my husband talks about spiritual biblical issues and things.  It refreshes my soul and spirit.  I find a little bit of iron against iron and I am strengthened inside.  I have been praying for more days and moments like this with my husband. 

Encouraged by Worship and Song
I just really appreciated worshiping God.  Yes, I messed up and sinned--and got convicted.  But I am not condemned.  It was through a song that God convicted me of my hands wanting to hold on to things.  I did not want to surrender what was important to me.  My time is very important to me.  Among other things, I did not want to lay my life down fully to him.  Tonight it was nice to just sing to him and from my heart just recommit my life to Him...Only Him.  

Encouraged to Move Forward:
I cannot get housework done on my own strength--every single day faithfully without His strength and the Word of God renewing my mind.  The last two days I felt like I got a hold of the house and that things were finally "coming together" and staying clean.  Today the house is a wreck and our kitchen sink is overflowing.  I threw in the towel and gave up altogether. The best thing right now that I am feeling is being forgiven.  Yes, I messed up, but I am encouraged to move forward right now.  I feel like a Daughter and not like a punished slave or servant.  I am a beloved child of the Most High--I am loved and forgiven.