Never have I chosen a "word" for the new year, and this year I did not really choose one. This last year I felt the lows of the holidays. I felt a lot of disillusionment. Waking up in the morning to crack at the day before sleeping babies to make Christmastime "magical and special" was difficult. I did not get accomplished my grand plans of reading the Luke 2 story every morning and introducing a new special Nativity Piece. In fact my 7 year old found the box of Nativity and broke it out before Thanksgiving even had a chance. The surprise in purchasing of this Little People Nativity set sort of just went up in flames.
In short. I felt frustrated and a failure. We had no Christmas tree. We did not really set up new Christmas Family traditions.
At the lowest part of my December-January year, I remember just crying out to God for help. Telling my heavenly Father...."I can't. I just can't..."
Relief flooded down my face along with a mixture of grief and pain and feelings of failure.
The turning point from where I was to where I am now has been slow imperfect progress. The day after I felt like a slug. Doubts and questions swam around in my thoughts. "Do I want to open the Bible? Would I really be encouraged and better? Maybe....."
Reading the Word and just asking God to make it alive again has helped. Hoping in being transformed with each step and decision has helped. Seeing my kids rely and trust in me to be everything they needs has really pushed me to dig down deep and not give up. With everything going on in the world....my children need a steadfast Hope...and no it is not me, but God. When the ground shakes and the mountains crumble--they need something truly reliable to stand on, and that is His truth.
